NLP RapportWhen you are in rapport with another person you will have created a connection, there will be a feeling of similarity and they will be at ease with you. You will feel ‘tuned in’ together. The other person will feel comfortable with you.
How People Communicate with Each Other:
Voice: Tone of voice The speed of which you speak The pitch of your voice The Timbre of your voice (Smooth – Rough sounding)
The Words you use can say a lot about you:
Accent Nationality Culture Beliefs Values Class
Physiology This is non-verbal communication and it plays a huge part in your overall communication. Your physiology can show how you feel, it can show emotions, it can show if you are comfortable with people or attracted to them. Your facial expressions and your posture will give another person huge amounts of information about you. Your communication is: 7% the words that you use 38% is through the pitch, tone, quality and speed of your voice 55% is through your physiology, your facial expressions, posture, the way you move, the way you breathe and through any colour changes in your skin Matching & Mirroring You can build rapport with someone by matching and mirroring their posture, breathing, tone of voice, or really in any way they are trying to communicate with you.
Take the time to watch people and notice how they are in rapport with each other. You will see a match in their physiology, their tone of voice, gestures and the language they use. See if you can spot how much they do that is the same or very similar.
Be in Rapport with yourself - Go to the Who Are You ? Page
Deliberate Rapport You can build rapport with another person by consciously matching and mirroring them. Please note, do not copy exactly everything they do in an instant as they will soon pick up on this as copying and your rapport will probably come to an abrupt end. Notice a few of the other persons key communication methods, such as body posture, hand movements, breathing pattern, expressions and tone of voice.
Pay particular attention to the other persons breathing pattern as this will effect their posture, the sound of their voice and the speed of their voice. If you can synchronise with their breathing you will automatically get a very close match to their way of communicating without looking as if you are copying them. Gradually and carefully you can match the other persons: Key words (Words the use regularly that stand out) Phrases that are emphasised with the use of their hands Gestures The rate at which they blink Volume and pitch of voice
People like people who are like themselves. On a personal or a business level your level of success will be greatly enhanced if you can develop your rapport building skills.
There is also a time for breaking rapport. This is called mismatching. There will be times when you deliberately want to mismatch and break rapport, such as to end a conversation, maybe you know the other person is not thinking in your best interests, possibly trying to sell you something you don’t want. It could be a person that you just don’t like. Mismatch them, do exactly the opposite to what you would do when building rapport. Mismatch your posture, breathing and tone of voice. This will break their pattern and you can end the conversation.
|
