NLP Re Framing
Use re framing as a powerful tool to help you to break free from limiting beliefs A frame is a way in which you filter your perceptions of the world through your internal representations. You will have automatic (Habitual) ways in which you think about things, and your decisions will quite often be made from the beliefs that you already hold. In almost all instances your decisions and understanding of a situation will be made from outside of your conscious awareness. What meaning you attach to something depends upon how you frame it. For example a pleasant comment passed to you from a loved one will mean something completely different if the same comment was passed to you by someone that you dislike or don’t know particularly well. You will hear people say that something has a ‘limited time frame’, if there is something to be completed then this is a lot more pressurising than trying to complete a task with a long time frame If you change the frame that you put around anything then the meaning changes too. This is called re-framing and it is a fantastic way in which to lose any beliefs that hold you back. Dont worry be happy, this could be true, but by using the tools and skills found within nlp you will have more freedom Re framingre framing, re framing It is natural for people to make sense of the world they live in. Everything that you do, see or feel regardless if it is reality or not ends up having a meaning attributed to it. (Framed) NLP is the best education you can have in self development When we humans are you young the frames we use are constantly changing, the meaning of the frame is changing. Then as we become adults the framed begin to become fixed in place. The meaning that is associated within the frame becomes a belief, you will have then developed a habitual way of thinking, and very soon the meaning of something becomes accepted as true. Some frames are built from positive beliefs, these frames help you to achieve and then push on again for more success. Other frames that you have developed are built from negative thinking and they can severely hold you back. Quite often you have built these frames into a self defence mechanism, you think you are protecting yourself from upset or pain, but really all these frames do is hold you still and prevent you from developing yourself into what you truly could become. David, a good friend of mine will often tell people of a time when his world, his very existence changed for ever when he was fortunate enough to undergo a massive re-framing exercise. During his early years, up to the age of about 12, David would constantly hear his parents say to other people ‘he’s not a scholar like his sister’. You can imagine how this affected his results at junior school. David say’s he must have heard this said hundreds if not thousands of times. When David started senior school he was in the bottom class and it stayed that way until the day he left school with no exam grades and no qualifications in any subject. Worse was to come as for the past four or five years David had heard a new term on a consistent basis, his father would also say that ‘people can never be successful without a good education’ So that’s it, David new he was doomed to be a failure! For two years David drifted from one terrible job to another. He was always broke and not going anywhere.
For years a belief had been built up by his parents. He knew he wasn’t a scholar so he would never be able to learn and figure things out. Then he knew he would never come to much because he didn’t have a good education. What David had heard from his parents started as a belief but eventually became a fact. It was true. Aged 18 David began working as a car cleaner, washing cars for a car dealership.re framing, re framing A conversation with the multi-millionaire owner of the business changed David’s thought pattern overnight, and David went through a massive re-framing exercise. A salesman had left the company just at the start of one of the busiest times of the year for the company. Over the past few months David had been having what he thought were just regular little chats with the owner of the business. What David hadn’t known was that the business owner had often commented to other staff that ‘the car cleaner’ was a really pleasant lad, easy to get on with, a good communicator. With the salesman gone a vacancy had arisen, the owner of the business wanted David to join the sales team. The owner asked David if he wanted the job, to which David replied ‘I couldn’t do it, I can’t do maths, I can’t write very well and I don’t have a shirt and tie’. The very same day the owner took David to Burtons Clothes shop, he bought David some trousers, a few white shirts and a couple of ties. re framing, re framing Later that day David was given a jacket with the company logo on it. The following morning he started work as a car salesman. On his desk was a large envelope with his name written on the front, David opened the envelope, inside there was a calculator and a note from the owner, it said, ‘the calculator is the solution to the maths issue, don’t worry about the writing, we don’t do any, and don’t worry about how to sell, talk to people, just be yourself and people will buy from you’ Twenty five years earlier the owner of the business had left school without any qualifications, he started work as a car cleaner, and then one day someone had given him an opportunity, now it was David’s turn. Two years later David had saved over £10,000 which he used as a deposit on his first house.re framing, Aged 27 David was the National Sales Director for a finance company that specialised in providing finance facilities to large car dealership groups. Aged 32 David, still working for the same company was now working out of their offices in Dallas as the International Sales Director. Aged 40 David is now back in the U.K. running his own company that provides outward bound courses for under privileged kids. As David says ‘when I left school I couldn’t add two and two together’. What had happened during the conversation with the owner of the business was that David had insisted that he couldn’t do the job. The owner of the business had told him that the best salesmen that he employed where always the best communicators with potential customers. He went on to say to David that he thought ‘you are great to talk to, you are already a great communicator, I know, from 25 years experience that you will be a fantastic salesman’ David’s image of himself as not being a scholar, and an uneducated disaster waiting to happen was suddenly changed to now seeing himself as a master communicator and successful salesman. There was no stopping him, and old belief was shattered and new possibilities where in its place. David had put a frame around his ability to succeed. The frame and the beliefs within it had held him back. He had always had the ability to succeed, he just didn’t believe it, it was fact, he believed it was true. Anything that happens in this world doesn’t have any meaning – the only meaning something has is the meaning that you give to it. This meaning is determined by the frame that you put around it. If you can change the frame you can change the meaning.
Continue to re framing page two
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